All Saints Day

Surely, you would remember All Saint’s Day this year because of the crazy weather.  In the morning of November 01, 2011 the blazing sun was displaying its might, forcing the people to pull out their umbrellas and find temporary relief under their man-made shade.  But the irony of the day is that the weather suddenly decided to go south and showered the land with cold pellets of rain. Again, it forced the people to pull out their umbrellas to avoid getting drenched in the rain. One tool, different functionalities, you just have to love it.

Since I could not visit my relative’s graves due to a conflict in schedule, I lit up three candles at home near the foot of our elevated staircase. The first candle, I dedicated to my maternal grandparents, Gonzalo and Rosario, who passed away in their 80’s.  The second candle, I dedicated to my paternal grandparents, Isidro and Enriqueta who passed away in their 90’s. 

The last candle I dedicated to Danielle, my first nephew who was delivered into the world as “stillbirth”.  Stillbirth is tragic death of a baby inside a mother’s womb that reportedly occurs in 1 out of 160 pregnancies.  He would have been 17 years old by now and probably a college sophomore.  I was supposedly his Godfather. We buried Danielle a day after he was taken from his mother womb.  He had a dark patch of hair and weighed about 7.5 lbs. He had my brother’s smile.

I prayed the Rosary in silence for them(… oh yes I still pray even if you think I should burn in Hell.) I also prayed that they pray for us who are still living in this crazy world.  While I was praying, I reflected on how powerful the strength of prayers are from those souls who are already in heaven.  I prayed for guidance, a little strength, and courage to face each day. 

I also prayed to those departed to heal the hearts of the people I have wronged in the past. May their prayers uplift the hearts of the people I have fucked-up.  I may have had a good reason ,or none at all, for fucking them up when I did.  Perhaps I was pissed drunk, angry or simply crazy when I did it, but its no excuse.  I have still crossed them.  The departed ones  know how I regret making those fucking-awful choices. Choices which will hound me till the rest of my days as my penance.

If you have watched “Game of Thrones” there is a warrior who prays only to one god. He prays to the “god of death”.  And his daily prayer to the god of death—- “NOT TODAY MY GOD, NOT TODAY”….  I admit it’s a bit different as to what my belief system is, but hey, you’ve got to respect the guy’s faith! Am sure none of us wants to meet his maker yet, at least not today.